7/18/2010

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this day and for loving me and for keeping me and my friends and family all here for another beautiful day. Thank you for Joelle and please keep her safe when she goes to Turkey. Thank you for all the people I met at Bible study on Friday, I think I would really like Sarah to become my mentor and Caitie to be my friend. Please help that to happen. I have decided to enter back into recovery, even though I havent cut in a few days Im still having trouble with my eating issue, please help me get into that ant to get better. Thank you for all the people at Bible study tonight. Thank you for everyone being so welcoming, especially Henry. Please help me find a new Church home where I can be safe and accountable and loved. I would like to go to the missions conference and the women of faith conference. Please help to make that possible. I love you so much. Please help me to do good in your eyes and to remember to succumb to your will. I am having a hard time right now because I know I am supposed to pray to you and expect you to do what I am praying for but also that I need to follow your will. Those seem like different things to me. Please help me to understand. And please help me figure out what to do with gene. If it is over I wish he would just tell me, dragging it out makes it hurt worse. Should I tell him that? I know what I'm going to say tomorrow but I wondering if I should talk to him about what I hear today? Please advise. And please help Brett, I dont know what he needs right now, I dont know if he has feelings or what hismmotive is but he is being condensending rather than supportive. Lord, I am afraid that I am praying to you for the wrong reason. To fix the wrong things in my life and ignoring your will, but I want so badly for your will to be what I want! Please help me. I love you. Amen